Mental Health

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The Challenges One Faces with a Bipolar-Disorder

Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental illness that causes extreme changes in the mood of the person suffering from it. This disorder is the sixth leading cause of disability in the world, affecting about 60 million people. Those who suffer from it do not always receive an accurate diagnosis. It is common to be confused with other disorders, preventing them from receiving proper treatment. In many cases, it is not diagnosed well or early enough and has a huge impact on the life of the patient. Mr. Jones is one of the films that best portrays the difficulty of treating bipolar disorder. Either due to lack of diagnosis or because the agitated episode arouses the interest and satisfaction of a life full of adrenaline causing a misleading rationalization of the type “I feel very well, therefore I do not need treatment.” Here we list the 4 most frequent challenges in the treatment of the bipolar disorder, offering prevention and symptom control strategies that can be easily transmitted to patients and families. 1. Challenge: Mood swings According to the author of the book Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder, Sheri Van Dijk: “Mood swings can appear suddenly, without incitement and can diminish the normal functioning of the subject and ruin their interpersonal relationships”. Although bipolar disorder appears to be random, there are repeatedly different triggers and patterns that can be monitored. And although many times we will not be able to prevent symptoms, we can decrease and easily cope with them. One of the best ways to monitor mood swings is through a log table. Which will be recorded from the mood, the hours of sleep, the level of anxiety, the medication schedules, and even the menstrual cycle. Such tools will allow anticipating a potential depressing episode if it is observed that the mood is declining progressively in recent days. Performing healthy habits is also an efficient way to reduce heavy emotional burdens. It is important that the patient adhere to the habit of a good rest and going to sleep and getting up; create a quiet routine to go to sleep, avoid consuming any substances for example alcohol (which affects sleep) and also avoid exercising in the afternoon. Exercise can help reduce symptoms of depression. Eliminating caffeine consumption can reduce anxiety and irritability, as well as improve the quality of sleep. Also, certain foods can exacerbate mood swings in some people. To control the effects of eating, you can start by eliminating some particular foods from the diet and observing what results in its causes. A type of strategy can also be used to avoid the destructive consequences of symptoms. 2. Challenge: Medication: Earlier in the treatment for bipolar disorder, patients were given medications and sedatives with several side effects. However, today, thanks to medical science, the mood stabilizing drug is one of the mainstay treatments, and these drugs do not have carry as many side effects as the earlier treatments. 3. Challenge: Relationships: Bipolar disorder represents a strong challenge for interpersonal relationships. Symptoms such as mood swings and risky behavior many times leave the family exhausted and confused. In addition, loved ones also have the difficulty of not being able to differentiate between the disease and the one who is suffering from bipolar disorder. They may override the subject’s feelings or blame the illness for everything, or they may also believe that the person makes conscious decisions when it comes to their illness. It is therefore extremely important that loved ones receive comprehensive education about the disorder. Family discussion/therapy and individual therapy will be helpful. A good strategy is to suggest that loved ones read articles or books on self-help or biographies of other people with this disease. Getting in control of your emotions can also improve relationships. 4. Challenge: Anxiety: About 2/3 of people with this disease also have an anxiety disorder. Johnson emphasizes the importance of using relaxation techniques and not using avoidance behaviours. Van Dijk offers us a good explanation for patients: “Because of the anxiety, if you will avoid something, it will increase more, because your brain will never learn that there is nothing to worry about”. Psychotherapy is tremendously helpful in dealing with bipolar disorder and in overcoming difficulties. If you are taking any medicines, do not stop them suddenly, this can increase the risk of a relapse. It is also important to consult with your psychiatrist regularly. 

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Are You in An Unappreciated Relationship? How to Identify It and What to Do?

Are You in An Unappreciated Relationship? How to Identify It and What to Do? When you’re in a relationship, feeling unappreciated can be hurtful. We all deserve to be happy, to have a healthy relationship where love, peace, and respect co-exist. It is true that eventually there will be disagreements, but the ideal is to seek to communicate and solve the challenges and not accept an unappreciated relationship. Unappreciated relationships are those in which one or both parties are affected by the behaviour and/or attitudes of the other. Here are some situations or actions that can tell you if you are in an unappreciated relationship. If you recognize any of these experiences in your relationship, seek professional help to see what to do with the problem, a therapist can guide you and accompany you during this difficult time. How do you know if you are in a relationship where your partner does not appreciate you? It is possible that you are in an unappreciated relationship and you do not know it, since the dynamics between the couple can happen daily that it becomes normal. It is important that you know that there are at least three dimensions where an unappreciated relationship can be manifested: – Control. – Disrespectful attitudes and conflicts. – Toxic attitudes in the sexual sphere. As for the attitudes of control , these are the signs that you should take into account: – Your partner is annoyed when you spend time with your family and friends, even when they don’t pay enough attention to you – Excessive control over your personal expenses – Constantly investigate your social networks and mobile devices, invading your privacy without permission – Plan your life without consulting you – They belittle you and insinuates that they are indispensable for your survival – Presence of emotional blackmail In relation to the disrespectful attitudes that lead to intense conflicts, they can be observed in many situations: – When your partner minimizes your problems – Downplays your achievements – Forces you to constantly give in in any argument – Makes you guilty of their problems. – Often speaks to you in an aggressive tone – On a sexual level, you can identify that you are in a toxic relationship if you maintain relationships with him or her despite not having desires, just to avoid getting someone upset. Why do people settle for unappreciated relationships? Discover the causes: It may seem unusual for a person to want to be in a toxic relationship, yet it happens and is very common. This is due to a series of causes that range from problems of self-esteem, dependency, trauma, insecurity, and fear, among others. For example, a person may have suffered some trauma that makes them feel that they deserve to be treated in this way. Therefore, continue in the relationship whether conscious or unconscious of what is happening. Also, sometimes it is difficult to end a relationship in which physical, psychological or emotional abuse is received, due to the presence of fear. However, with the help of a professional , you can get out of a relationship that is not good for you. Unappreciated relationships prevent the development of personal potential, many people feel comfortable with that because they do not know another way to live or to be loved. Therefore, it is important to stop and think if we suffer more than we enjoy our relationship. So, it’s a combination of factors that makes us stay in a toxic relationship. However, you should know that you always have the possibility to get out of it and not settle for less than you deserve. What can you do to break up or get over an unappreciated relationship? Before making a couple of recommendations, do not ignore that the toxic relationship occurs because one party is willing to abuse verbally or physically, and the other party is willing to put up with it. Therefore, both parties need help. If the relationship can still be saved because both parties are willing to change, the best solution is to take couples therapy. In this, both will be able to talk with a specialist who will guide and help them. If the relationship has no salvation because there are aggressive behaviours or one of the parties is not willing to change or does not see the problem, it is best to possibly end that relationship. We deserve to be in a relationship that brings us together, where we feel loved and respected.

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So how did a smart woman like you get into a relationship with a narcissist?

They tend to be incapable of empathy, unable to relate to and totally unaware of other people’s needs, or even their existence. They must be the centre of attention and they are very demanding as a partner. You must dote on them. Any signs of disapproval or disagreement with what they say will be received with uncontrollable rage, most especially the mere suggestion that they may be suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I hear it a lot. “It’s all about him.” “He is controlling.” “He lies constantly and manipulates me.” “Nothing is ever his fault.”   It can be heart-breaking. When their mate had suffered enough, leaves them and wants custody of the children, the narcissist often resorts to revenge to get back at them, to the extent of taking their partner for everything they’ve got and destroying their life completely in the process. There is more than sufficient material online with checklists of how to identify a narcissist as by 5, 10, 15 or more sure-fire signs, and much survivor testimony and support groups.  We are up against a challenging personality disorder that Sigmund Freud named in a paper in 1914, only to explain why he and other therapists could do nothing with this type lacking the needed empathy to build a working relationship. Frankly, we are only now mapping by evidence based methods rather a shape-shifter with very fluid boundaries as a type, sometimes running the gamut of character disorder. Some recent findings in the area may be helpful. In reality narcissists fall into two major types, but with subtypes only now being mapped. One type of narcissist has relatively good orientation and adaptive functioning in using their narcissism as a motivation and means to succeed as huge performers in certain fields, less for their talents and achievements than their manipulative abilities, and because their inflated sense of self-importance drives them on. They have to show the world just how important they really are, and so talk venture capitalists into dubious investments, and hard-nosed, no nonsense Board of Directors into ruinous ventures. After all, entitlement, being self-absorbed, grandiosity, fierce anger, indifference, abusing others, and the ability to exploit can work for a time. Financial bubbles that were bound to burst and fraud has ruined as many vary and intelligent investor taken in by an attractive visionary. The same mechanism may be at work with the smart woman taken in by someone who seems all that can be desired in answer to the question of our times. “Where are all the eligible men?” Why would a smart woman be attracted to a sexy, well-off quintessential alpha male who is exciting, fun, charming and witty?  Because he has power and success, and you feel he ‘gets’ you. You have chemistry and feel high from his attention, and all your friends envy you. What looks too good to be true is too good to be true in this instance also, but only later when you invested emotion and commitment with a fraud. Of course, there is the less visible covert narcissist who is shy, insecure, never brags, nor appears exhibitionistic. Deep down they veil their need, cover their feelings and do their best to win your approval. They greatly elevate you and satisfy your own need for admiration—until inevitably you fail them. However, when others do not provide the validation or approval they seek, they fall apart and turn on you in rage for your failure to fulfill an idealized role you never asked to play, really that of a lost strong and protective parent. The closet narcissist relies in this way on an idealised partner, “an empath”, to prop them up and fill the emptiness of their real impaired self. This type of narcissist feels lost without you, drains you dry, does fall apart when you break away with a rage that knows no bounds or reason, save to restore his lost sense of power drained from you as a source of need fulfilment. Perhaps, it is a need in emotional and vulnerable women to be idealized and needed that leaves them unprepared when the validation fails, and a monstrously angry child emerges from beneath the mask of a grown male partner. Frankly, as therapists, we have often neglected narcissism for other character disorders that are more manageable, possibly also because of distaste for the type shared with Sigmund Freud. Our female patients have forcefully called our attention to the complex narcissistic spectrum of disorders. We have work to do. Stay tuned for progress in this problematic area well known to the Greeks as the handsome shepherd Narcissus who fell in love with his own image.

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Unfavorable Body Image

Unfavorable Body Image: ‘Body image’ is a term that we can use to describe how we feel and think about our body shape. Body image is much more than what we see when we stand in front of the mirror. While we contemplate ourselves, memories, assumptions, generalizations pass through our minds. If all this results in a negative or an unfavourable body image, the risk of suffering from emotional disorder called body dysmorphia increases.” Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental health disorder in which you can’t stop thinking about one or more perceived defects or flaws in your appearance — a flaw that appears minor or can’t be seen by others. But you may feel so embarrassed, ashamed and anxious that you may avoid many social situations.” Positive Body Image:    In the positive body image, the person has a clear and real perception of what her body is like. The person can value and appreciate their body, being aware that it is only a part of their whole as a person and that other aspects, such as personality, have a more important value when defining their identity. In this state, the person feels safe and comfortable within her own body. Negative Body Image: When a person feels that his/her body appearance doesn’t measure up to what family, society, and the media expect, then an unfavourable body image can arise. People with a negative body image often compare themselves to others and, in doing so, feel bad about not meeting expectations, ashamed, uncomfortable in their bodies. But here an important factor comes into play: your perception. People with a negative body image often have an unrealistic view of themselves. Thus, they can see their image distorted and unreal, exacerbating reality or exaggeratedly valuing their image. In this sense, some people with a negative body image develop a disorder that is popular as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). A person with BDD views her body, or part of her body, negatively and takes extreme measures accordingly (surgery, hormones, etc.). This, in addition to being dangerous because it can lead to mental health problems, such as depression, can also lead to other physical problems. How is body image formed and developed? – For the comments that other people make us: Messages and/or explicit or implicit comments that we have received throughout our personal history from family, friends, acquaintances about our body: “what a chubby girl”, “everything ugly is funny” … – By what we tell ourselves: Our internal dialogue: “since I hate my teeth, they are so small”, “as much as they tell me otherwise, my legs are not pretty”… – Through the social funnel: What is socially considered desirable about the physical. Everything that is pressed on social networks, television, social circle. For example, that socially established trouser size as the ideal and used by the most famous. Here social pressure is a very big drawback today for a real and healthy body image. What influences on the Unfavourable Body Image? Body image doesn’t develop in isolation. Family, culture, environment including social media platforms, television, film, convey negative and positive messages about our bodies. For a person with a negative body image, that her body does not match the images promoted by the media is a big problem it becomes problem. However, the image that is conveyed as an ideal is often unnatural, especially when it comes to advertising. We are exposed to unrealistic and, on many occasions, unnatural models. The fashion and beauty industry sets strict canons that the majority of the population does not fit into. But its influence is such that it can affect physical, mental, and physical well-being because not everyone can understand it. The industry is interested in us being uncomfortable with our bodies. In this way, we will be more interested in buying products to be slimmer or more muscular, to delay the effects of age and/or to appear younger, to appear taller or appear slimmer, etc. But all of this can create emotional insecurity, which can make a person more susceptible to developing a negative body image. On the other hand, these negative thoughts and feelings can be perpetuated through interactions with others. What can you do to feel better? Some people think that they have to change their physical appearance first and then feel good about themselves. But, having a good body image is not synonymous with having a great body or an exuberant physique, at all, and you don’t need to have a perfect body to have a good body image. We ask you several important questions: Do you not like your body image, nor are you able to see anything positive in it? Do you constantly stop thinking about that specific feature of your physique that you cannot accept? Are you not able to accept Your current appearance? Would you like to change something about your physical appearance, although everything around you tells you that you don’t need it? Do you stop going to places like the beach or the pool because you are not able to cope with seeing yourself and being seen in a swimsuit? If you have answered positively several of the previous questions, your body image may be negative and negatively influence your self-esteem. Put yourself in the hands of a professional’s therapist, experts in positive psychology, who will help you identify the problem and find your way to a positive body image together.   https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938

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10 Benefits of Meditation for your Mental Health:

In recent years, scientific studies have focused on the benefits of meditation on our brains. And the amazing thing is that each study attributes a benefit to meditation. Science and new technologies only confirm the benefits of meditation on the brain. Meditation is a relaxing activity that can improve health in many ways. Studies show that meditation has a protective effect on the heart, promotes sleep, strengthens the immune system, calms anxiety, and lowers the risk of depression. Today, more and more people are practicing meditation, and the media is picking up on the subject.Mindfulness or meditation is training the mind to focus on the present moment intentionally and without judgment.Whether you are convinced, simply curious, or even sceptical, here are 10 benefits of meditation for your mental health. 1.Reduce stress and anxiety: Research in the medical field has shown that regular meditation can improve mental health, help better regulate emotions, and help reduce stress and anxiety. Indeed, by meditating we learn to settle down and to concentrate on ourselves, by putting aside for a moment all the anxiety-inducing factors which surround us. The goal is not to pretend they don’t exist, but to gain height and look at them with a new eye. 2. Develop your attention skills: By practicing mindfulness, we learn to notice that our actions are often performed on autopilot, without thinking about it. We can then learn to focus on one thing at a time, without being constantly caught by the comings and goings of our thoughts, and thus reduce multitasking and set clear intentions on our priorities. According to a study by the Institute for Mindful Leadership, after 7 weeks of meditation, only 2% of participants had difficulty concentrating on a project (compared to 28% previously). In addition, 75% of them were able to pay full attention in a meeting, and 77% were able to notice when their attention was gone and bring it back to the present moment, compared to only 29% before. 3. Better manage pain: Mindfulness programs have been developed to help people cope better with pain, in particular, to accept it better. When we know that nearly one in five European adults and around 12 million French people suffer from chronic pain and 2.6 million from neuropathic pain, meditation could therefore be beneficial for many. 4. Boost your creativity: Meditation also allows us to approach change beyond our usual patterns, and thus be more creative. According to a study published in The Journal of Creative Behaviour, doing a meditation exercise increases the blood flow to the brain and affects brain waves. That is ultimately helping to develop systemic intelligence and thus gain clarity in the brain. solving complex problems. 5. More peaceful sleep: According to recent research (the interest in the subject is still very new), Practicing mindfulness in addition to cognitive behavioral therapy would reduce the night’s awakening time and decrease the state of hypervigilance during the night. Enough to give hope to the people who suffer from sleep disorders. 6. Develop altruism and leadership: Many organizations have decided to implement mindfulness meditation programs on a global scale, it is because the individual benefits are also added to the positive effects in the group. A study has shown that decision-makers have a better perception of their skills after a 12-week training course: shared vision, moral intelligence, motivation. Mindfulness, therefore, reinforces leadership qualities. 7. And for children too! Adults are not the only ones who can benefit from the benefits of this practice. Indeed, research also has showed a positive effect of mindfulness meditation on children and adolescents. Among the benefits of this practice, meditation can allow children to gain a better understanding of their mental patterns, and help them better accept and manage their emotions, develop better relationships with others. 8. Improves concentration: It is not just children who are prone to concentration problems. Millions of adults have the same challenges whether or not they have ADD. This is why it is interesting to point out that one of the most important benefits of meditation is that it improves our ability to concentrate. In a recent study, researchers analysed the effect of meditation on the performance of participants in an oral reasoning test. Only 2 weeks of meditation training was enough to improve the concentration and memory skills of the participants. 9. Slows down the aging of the brain: According to a study from the University of California (UCLA) which looked at aging, the brains of people who have practiced meditation for several years are better preserved than that of people who do not.People who have been meditating for over 20 years have more grey matter in their brains. This is not to say that there is no loss of grey matter over time in people who meditate. On the other hand, this loss is less pronounced than in people who never practice meditation. 10. Reduces symptoms of depression as well as antidepressants: The relationship between meditation and its ability to reduce symptoms of depression, as well as to alleviate anxiety and pain. Meditation is therefore an active form of brain training. A lot of people think that doing meditation is just sitting down and doing nothing. But this perception is wrong. Meditation is an active training of the mind to increase our ability to be “mindful”. Better ability to concentrate and accept emotions, improve sleep and promote creativity: whatever our situation, mindfulness has benefits to bring us. But beware, no miracle recipe, like any practice, to feel the benefits, you have to practice regularly and over the long term.

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How to Practice Emotional Self-care

Life’s a journey with twists and turns, and at times our emotions best express what experiences we’re going through. Emotional self-care is a sure strategy to make you stay grounded despite the flare-ups thrown at you by life.Most of the emotions you encounter in your life are too often familiar as daily life events trigger them. However, some are less familiar as they are from events that don’t happen daily, such as tragedies, deaths, and love losses.As such, by attempting to mastering our emotions, you stand a chance of getting through the difficulties. You have the sole responsibility of caring and safe guarding for your feelings. When equipped with emotional self-care strategies, each time a test hits you, you’ll be able to come out strongly, less overwhelmed, and handle the situation without circling down.Instead of reacting without emotional control, it would be far more helpful to understand your emotions and how you can manage them for your betterment.There are a couple of basic strategies to equip yourself with to help you master your emotions and practice emotional self-care. Learn about your emotions Mastering ourselves is a process that never ends. When we know our emotions, how they’re triggered, and how we respond to them is a better approach to understanding them.Find out what your past experiences were. Understand which people or events are associated with your feelings. Do you get why your responses are emotional in a certain way? Do your responses reflect what you feel? Do they trigger discomfort?Knowledge of how you handle your emotions is essential in helping you identify the best responses during specific situations. Every new event should feel like a whole new encounter rather than a repetition of the first occurrence. When a particular emotion is triggered every time, you get another chance to monitor yourself and devise a better outcome. Maintain emotional integrity How do you ensure that your emotions are not affected by those of others? Can you identify when other people’s emotions infringe upon your own? What strategies do you have in place to ensure that your feelings are free from the invasion by others’? How do you better protect yourself?An emotional boundary can be helpful. Think of it as your territory. You get to choose how big it can be so you can get comfortable. This space can be physical, maintaining distance from certain people that make you feel unpleasant. Or it can be psychological, choosing not to be impacted by other people’s feelings. It is their business how they feel about you after all.When you are successfully able to maintain emotional integrity, you’re taking better care of yourself. You’ll notice a significant change in how you deal with people or situations as you already know what you are capable of and can do, as well as things that you won’t tolerate from happening. Admit when you aren’t okay When you accept that you are not okay, you are merely embracing one of the most significant essentials of emotional self-care. Knowing you are strong to admit that you are weak.When the tough days come along, and you don’t feel good enough, accept it and lean into it. (Embrace it) It is okay to let those tears flow or sadness prevail when you’re overwhelmed.Everyone needs emotional support. Accepting your emotions and understanding them is vital in making better decisions and managing life stresses effectively. Practice self-care on every level Psychological and physical well-being go hand in hand. When you’re not in good physical shape, your emotions may suffer. Taking care of your physical health makes you stronger, healthier, and better prepared when life throws you problems.Gaining a better understanding of who you are inside, what moves you, plus your belief system, can help you stay on the right track.Develop a belief system that restores faith and hope in yourself. Spirituality can also help you build sustenance and can ground you during trying times or when you’re dealing with challenging people. Connect with people who care People who care, nurture and encourage you are the best fit for creating a healthy support system. They should understand you, and are ready to assist you in being your best.People who tear you down, make you feel worried, anxious, or push you into relationships that aren’t productive must always be kept at bay. At times, it can be difficult to notice that a relationship isn’t doing you good, especially if blinded by love. But as time progresses and the negativity keeps on being repeated, you should be able to notice that it could be the time to move on.Even when you feel firmly attached to a relationship that isn’t healthy for you, a robust and healthy support system is essential. Your goal should be to lead a more satisfying life and a relationship that fosters growth and productivity and a partner that inspires you. Create a coping toolbox We all have one or two things we like to do when faced with situations that drain our energy. It could be physical exercise, listening to music, creating art, writing in your journal, charity, or walks. Whatever it is, find a set of activities if you don’t have one that you can immerse yourself into when you don’t feel like yourself.These activities make us feel whole again. They bring us closer to realizing that there is more to life than what we perceive. Anything you think has a positive impact on your life and helps you develop emotionally is welcome to be part of your coping toolbox.Emotions can make or tear us apart. How we nurture them and control them is what matters the most. Always welcome positivity into your life.And above all, feel comfortable in saying no, when you feel the request is not in your best interest. Saying no is another way of saying yes to yourself.

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Comparing Yourself to Others

“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.”- Iyanla Vanzant While many of us know that comparing ourselves to others may bring in jealousy and toxicity, we still end up doing it. Sometimes intentionally and other times without even realizing it. The fact is, this behaviour of comparing has become such a natural part of our lives that it seems like there is no escape from it.But think about it for a moment, if you compare the strengths of other people with your weaknesses, what do you think the outcome would be? Do you think it’d be something pleasurable or enjoyable? While there is no denying that such comparisons can sometimes encourage you to do good or maybe even become a better person, this is seldom the case. Especially, in this age of social media, it is almost impossible to use comparison for good. From someone’s lifestyle, physical appearance, even the number of followers, or likes they receive on their photos, it can often make people believe that they are just not enough. It is this sort of vicious loop that fails to cease no matter where you are or what you do. But if you don’t learn how to stop it now, you will keep wasting your mental energy and even money just trying to keep up with everyone. Before talking about effective ways that can help you stop comparing yourself to others, let us first try to understand where this behaviour stems from and what its implications are- The Root Cause of Comparing As it turns out, this constant need to keep comparing ourselves has a biological cause. This process of comparison is used by our brain to determine how we measure against others. In other words, it enables us to understand what or who we are, our strengths, and our weaknesses.In most cases, the comparison loop keeps running in the background, and we don’t even realize it. But problems occur when we start dwelling on others and highlights of their lives, careers, appearance, or success.As humans, there is an innate need to belong and connect to others. But this behaviour of constant comparison severely impacts this natural need by making us believe that we are not enough to belong or connect. Ultimately, we end up risking our emotional health, confidence, and happiness.So, what are the most harmful effects of this behaviour? Take a look- How Comparison Harms You? The thing with the comparison trap is it can impact people in many different ways. It is not a physical illness that will show the same set of symptoms or outcomes. But to give you an idea, here are some of the most common ways in which this behaviour to keep comparing ourselves can impact us- Rumination- The same negative thoughts will keep running in your mind on a loop. Rumination is dangerous for our emotional health. Depression and Anxiety- Needless to say, something that impacts your brain and thought process in such a negative manner can definitely intensify anxiety and depression. Overspending- It has been observed that people start overspending once they are in this comparison trap to keep up with others. Here is an experiment you can perform yourself right now- Log into your social networking profile and spend some time reading the statuses of your friends, celebrities, and viewing their latest uploads. Now, log out from the account and focus on your thoughts for a moment. There is a major possibility that you might not feel as good about yourself as you did before logging into your account. What happened? Even if you were not trying to intentionally compare your life, looks, etc., with that of others on the social platform, the comparison loop is very much active in the background. Even studies have confirmed that spending time on social media often makes people feel bad about themselves. All of this negativity significantly impacts your mental state. So, what is the way out? 3 Practical Solutions to Stop Comparing How do you get out of this loop? Here are 3 ways that can help- 1. Accept What/Where You Are The first step to initiate this change is to start accepting yourself. Start accepting where you are and what you are. Life is hard, and you’ve done an excellent job to be where you are today. Start accepting every aspect of your life and then focus on how you can make it better. 2. Practice Gratitude Being appreciative and thankful for what you have will automatically shift your focus from the outside world to yourself. Focus on all the good things you have, and you will feel a sense of gratefulness and positivity. Gratitude brings along happiness. 3. Compete with Yourself It is high time that you stop competing with others and try to work on yourself. The focus should always be on being the best version of yourself. Think about the ways in which you can improve yourself, be it with regards to your health, career, or finances. The Comparison Trap Needs to End Now As long as such comparisons don’t inspire you, you are better off without them. While this sure is easier said than done, you have done more complex things in the past.Ditching the habit will definitely take some time and effort. But rest assured that there is a happier, content, and more satisfying life at the end of the tunnel. Not for anybody else, but you need to do this for yourself. You deserve it.

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Discover meaning (When life only offers hardship)

Human intelligence is an intriguing phenomenon. It makes us sensitive to experiences and helps us connect. Our brains are wired to pick pleasure, happiness, and positivity from pain, sadness, and negative experiences. But when trouble comes knocking, how can we discover meaning from those hardships?Can we derive happiness from our daily struggles in the long run? I suggest that it’s possible to reconstruct ourselves back to cheerfulness again from lies’ harsh experiences. Instead of giving in and wallowing in sorrow while feeling helpless, you can take lessons from your hardships and often these hardships can deepen us.Experience, whether small as quarrels with a partner or big as losing a loved one, can potentially help you acquire a new perspective and a greater sense of meaning in your life.Regardless of what you’re going through, what is important is the number of times you get up and move forward when hardship presents itself. And to help you discover meaning when life only offers difficulty, we’ve compiled ways to help you through. Reflect on the impact of the hardship Review your experiences and explore how they impacted your life. How has the experience changed your life? What can you learn from it? What’s the new version of you since the traumatizing experience began?Reflecting on how those difficult moments have affected you and incorporating them into your new self can significantly help you acquire a new sense of meaning. Share Emotions drive us. Sharing them with others does not make us weak, but it portrays the strength lying deep within. When undergoing a challenging moment, our minds tend to pick the easiest paths to find a solution, and keeping the troubles to ourselves is just one of them.When you withhold your feelings, it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on the things that matter the most. Instead, find someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings.If you still feel not confident enough to share with someone, find another channel. Talk to a therapist, write about it, and sing it if you have to.By getting the weight off your chest, it becomes easy to have a different perspective on things and discover meaning from what you’re going through. Perhaps your friend may have some insight as they have walked the same path of suffering. Be part and parcel of your narrative Everyone has a story about them that is ever-changing. These stories help us understand how the different experiences fit together to shape our lives. They create the tapestry of our life.When you integrate your negative life experiences into your narrative, you’ll feel like those experiences and your life are part of a much bigger picture. And from that, you’ll get a more profound meaning from your hardships.Try to write your narrative down together with their timelines, then reflect on how every hardship affected your other experiences. Imagine the counter scenarios “What ifs” are a great way of cultivating meaning from experiences. Think about “what could’ve happened” and analyze the possible outcomes from those experiences. Reflection will not only help you discover meaning, but you also get to learn useful lessons.By imagining the counteractions to our experiences, we frame scenarios that can help us better understand what conspired. This mental approach is essential in helping us get acquire insight into the broader patterns beneath our experiences.Therefore, if your mind flees into “what if” escapades, accept it, and let yourself explore the hypothetical realities. Just ensure that you use these questions to understand the facts better and why they’re how they are. Build stronger social connections The default action for ourselves during hardships is wanting to retreat into our haven of solitude. Our minds believe that retreat can help us avoid more trouble or being bothered by others.Instead, when we use negative experiences to connect with people close to us, we strengthen our bonds with them rather than harm them. We seize better opportunities to generate meaning from our experiences when we opt to cope with difficulties and seek social support. Connect with your past When you feel threatened by difficulties, you can generate a sense of meaning from situations by connecting with your past.For instance, old photographs, vintage cars, or past joyful stories that have molded us can generate the feeling of appreciating the interconnectedness behind everything.So, when faced with a hardship, take a moment to reflect on things that make you reminisce. Let your mind take you back in time, collecting memory treasures and wiring them together up to the present moment. Mold a different future When we’re faced with a hardship, it’s easier to only focus on the present, trying to find where we may have made an incorrect decision to come to the situation, we are in. Find a deeper meaning from our experiences.There lies great potential in hardships to trigger us to make better-informed decisions about the life we make for ourselves. We can make more meaningful and satisfying lives if we accept the difficulties to extract lessons from them.

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Addicted to Social Media? (What are the Benefits?)

Most of us cannot deny that we check our social pages at least a few more times than we should in a day. Be it Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, all of them now have millions of users who just can’t get enough of these platforms. From updating statuses, uploading pictures, or just messaging friends, these social platforms have a digital habitat of their own. If reports are to be believed, out of the total human population of 7.7 billion, there are more than 4 billion social media users across the world in 2021. And not just the number of users, even the amount of time people spend on these platforms is consistently rising. From close to 100 minutes in 2014, internet users now spend close to 145 minutes per day on these platforms. While technologies like the internet sure have their valuable benefits, any kind of addiction, be it related to social media, has its drawbacks as well. Take a look at some of the advantages and drawbacks of social media addiction- Advantages of Using Social Media Spread Happiness Not Negativity According to a study by the University of California which was conducted between 2009 and 2012, social platforms do impact our emotions. But surprisingly, the emotion of happiness is more commonly spread than others. For instance, the study found that positive posts from friends resulted in close to 1.75 more posts involving positivity and happiness. Negative posts encouraged 1.29 posts with negativity. Moreover, every positive update also reduced the negative ones by 1.80. The negative ones reduced positive posts by only 1.26. Staying Connected Our lives are now busier than ever, with our jobs and family responsibilities consuming most of our day. Amid the busy schedules, social platforms are an effective way to stay connected with friends and even relatives, no matter where they are located across the world. It is also a great place to meet new people without any geographical boundaries. Want to get in touch with an old school or university friend? Chances are, they might have their profile on popular social platforms. Simply search for them and drop in a message. You can connect, share, learn, and do a lot more with just a few taps on your mobile phone. This was practically impossible in the past. Sense of Belonging Social platforms have now become such an integral part of our lives that they can influence our emotions and behaviors in many different ways. For instance, connecting and interacting with other people on these platforms brings a sense of belonging, which automatically boosts our self-esteem. In a way, this provides a sort of purpose to us, making it easier for us to connect and also feel belonged to the society, family, or friend. So, if you just liked or commented on a friend’s post, you just made him/her happier by boosting their feeling of belongingness. Drawbacks of Social Media Reduced Productivity If you spend a lot of time on social platforms, it could be negatively impacting your productivity. It can not only affect your professional life but your personal life as well. Anything that is used more than it should will ultimately have some kind of disadvantage. And reduced productivity is probably the biggest drawback of social media addiction. For instance, a lot of people simply keep scrolling through their social media profiles late in the night, sacrificing their sleep. The lack of sleep will surely hamper your life in more ways than you can imagine, no matter if you are a working professional, student, or homemaker. Reduced Productivity It is almost impossible for people not to compare themselves with others on social platforms. This comparison trap can also significantly impact your life, emotions, and mental wellbeing. There are studies that suggest that some people have felt sad after browsing through their social profiles. Comparing your lifestyle, car, vacation to even looks and figure with others on these platforms can make you feel bad about yourself. This behavior can reach an extent where it can also cause anxiety and depression. But you should remember that no one looks as good or is as happy as they appear on their social profiles.  Feeling of Loneliness and Isolation Watching your friends or someone else on social media having the best times of their lives can also result in a feeling of loneliness and isolation. Online platforms are now commonly treated as a sign of status, performance and exaggerating a few selective qualities. For instance, you might have a friend who regularly uploads pictures in which he is super happy and always surrounded by friends and family. On the other hand, you might be living a busy life away from your friends and family in another city. It is possible for you to feel lonely or isolated when you witness people around you so happy with their lives. The Social Media Impact There is no denying the fact that social networking platforms have helped us in many ways. They’ve made communication easier by enabling us to get in touch with people living across the world in a matter of seconds. However, nobody can deny the drawbacks when social media usage becomes an addiction. While regular use of social media to an extent will probably not cause any harm, you should try to make some changes in your life if you feel that you are spending way too much time on these platforms. In the longer run, this can have implications on your emotions and mental wellbeing.

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Are You Having Difficulty Saying NO?

Ask someone how they are, and their reply would most probably include some version of been “busy.” It has so happened that this phenomenon of being busy has turned into a sort of a humble badge of honour. People have started believing that being busy is some kind of benchmark of success. In a way, it implies that the “busy” people are important. They do something or know something that is in demand. But if you are one of those people who are always busy, there is a major possibility that you struggle when it comes to saying no. A logic similar to that of busy being a signifier of success makes us believe that saying no is something that might be perceived as aggressive, unhelpful, or uncaring. There is a sort of negative connotation to it, and people generally prefer swaying away from it. After all, who really wants the guilt of rejecting someone or being perceived as a bad person just for saying no, right? Simply avoid conflicts by complying with others even when you actually want to say no. By doing this, you might continue being on the good books of people around you. But do you really want to be a people pleaser? What if there were ways to say no without feeling guilty, damaging relationships, or being perceived as not a giving person? This is possible if you know the right tactics. So, if you are someone who generally struggles with saying no, here are a few tips that can help- 1. Be Proactive with Your Approach The biggest difficulty in saying no is when someone asks you to do something face-to-face or even on the phone. So, start by eliminating this biggest cause of concern. Rather than doing it face-to-face, ask them to email or text their request. Remember, you are a busy person, right? It is completely alright to tell them the same, and you’ll get back to them with a response at the earliest. When they contact you for a follow-up, it will be much easier for you to politely decline their request. 2. You Don’t Need to Explain Yourself While it might seem very polite to decline requests along with an explanation why you cannot, this can make things super awkward. It is generally seen that when you give an explanation, people tend to modify their request to try and nullify your objection. For instance, if someone invites you for dinner this Friday and you decline their request by saying that you’ll be working late on that day, they might get back to you asking if Saturday or some other day of the week would work for you. Rather than explaining, stalling, or delaying, it is better to say no and keep things short and sweet. If you feel the need, offer a short explanation but don’t do so just because you feel compelled. 3. Put the Ball in Your Court The art of saying no has a lot to with being in the driving seat of the whole exchange. For instance, if we take the same dinner example from above, you can say something like, “I don’t think I can make it this Friday, but I’ll let you know when I can.” By saying this, you change the dynamics of the whole exchange and get into the driving seat. Now it is up to you whether you really want to meet the person over dinner in the future. The ball is in your court, and you get to make the decision. So, try to be polite with your reply but also be innovative with your approach so that you get to be the one driving the exchange. 4. Understand Your Role in the Relationship Consider this scenario; you have an acquaintance whom you hardly know. The person sends you an email telling you that he/she would be visiting your city soon and whether they can stay with you during the stay. In cases like this, it is always better to take a step back and analyze your role in the relationship. You need to set boundaries and determine whether it is a kind of relationship in which you should even be worried about what the other person thinks about you. In the scenario above, it is completely alright to politely decline their request as the person is not even your friend but an acquaintance. Even in case if you have a solid relationship with someone, it is still wise to evaluate the relationship. If the relationship is indeed pretty solid, it should easily withstand your no. 5. Put Your Needs First In the process of complying with others, you often end up sacrificing your needs. For instance, if the boss is keeping you way too busy, you’ll sacrifice the time you can spend with your family and friends. Keep doing this long enough, and you’ll see that you are not left with the time or energy to take care of yourself and your needs. Resentment can rise, and you can burn out. In this regard, it is completely alright to be a little selfish. Rather than being the good person that you already are and thinking about others, you should put your needs first. Saying no is saying yes to you. The Subtle Art of Saying No Start saying no, and maybe you’ll see a drastic change in your life. It will help you overcome your fear of being rejected or being perceived as aggressive or uncaring. You will be in better control of your life. If you want this feeling of empowerment and freedom, take the plunge and rest assured that you will move towards a life that is less stressful and more rewarding.

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