Life can be full of disappointments and downright depressing. Work stress, relationship issues, health problems and a host of challenges are presented to us on a daily basis. For such hard times, we vent.
Let me rephrase: we complain!
It is no secret that complaining is remarkably common. For some of the people, it is embedded in their “social DNA.” We complain without realizing it. A recent study indicated that in a typical conversation, an average person complains at least once. Complaining can create a bond between people who have nothing in common, but too much venting can ruin conversations and break up relationships.
When you complain about something, certainly it is in your thoughts. You are relentless in doing something about it. In this case, the main aim of complaints is to receive support from the listener, thereby help you in working towards dealing with the issue.
Constant complaints add no value to your life. They let your problems take the better part of you. You add fuel to the fire destroying everything around you.
When you are constantly complaining, it can be tied to the following
- Your desire to control,
- The need to get sympathy or validation
- Your fear of addressing a problem
Solutions to overcoming constant complaining
Change your mindset
Our minds gravitate towards the negative aspects of our environment. Practice being mindful. When you find yourself making a negative comment about someone, stop yourself and say something positive instead.
Vent once in a while
If you are going through a rough patch, don’t feel ashamed to share your feelings with a family member, friend, or therapist. Ignoring your negative thoughts constantly could add up, making it worse.
Judge people less
Before complaining about how bad the service was at a restaurant, put yourself in the shoes of the waitress. They may have had a bad day or have a big issue going on behind the scenes. Once in a while, stop judging people before knowing their background story. Knowing about them will push you to relax and display an act of kindness.
This may be easier said than done. If you have a problem, take action or accept that it cannot be fixed. Why complain? Transform the process of complaining into getting a solution. Therefore accept the situation and move on.
The problems we face in life need solutions. Therefore stress should be managed and minimized. Constant complaining is a passive activity. It is draining, and it creates an undesirable self-fulfilling insight that adds no value. Minimize constant complaints, and you are likely to view the world with more gratification.