For men, the change in timing may not have as many repercussions. But for women, the delay makes the search more difficult, even though they have become more settled and mature, more financially secure, and have a better sense of the one they could happily spend their lives with than those who marry earlier. At the time in their lives, most often after a successful career when they feel ready for a partner, many women are at a loss as to how to find that special guy.
A rising share of young adults, especially women, are pursuing advanced degrees, and waiting for marriage until they are done with their education and established in the workplace. The problem is that when these women reach their late twenties or thirties and become interested in settling down, they have likely been locked into a narrow routine that includes work, working out, and socializing with a close circle of female friends.
Some tend to feel a growing sense of anxiety, as they fear that their chances that they will be able to combine a loving marriage into a life of individual career achievement. Their ultimate sense of what many women want in life includes family and children, but not initially at the risk of wasting their education and giving up career goals and the status that success gives to women who had proven themselves in the business world.
Very often such women had numerous chances earlier to steer relationships into long-term partnerships, yet ended early relationships for abstract reasons (“something was missing”), and chose independence over coupling (“I wasn’t ready to settle down.
Marriage is still very appealing, and there is evidence for its hold on people according to Pew Research. Married adults are more likely than those who are living with a partner to say things are going very well in their relationship (58% vs. 41%). They also express higher levels of satisfaction with specific aspects of their relationship, including the way household chores are divided between them and their spouse, and how well their spouse balances work and personal life. Married people also seem to advertise their commitment. “When somebody tells you, ‘That’s my spouse,’ you know some information about the relationship and the level of commitment. Cohabitation and casual relationships do not always seem to force clarity like marriage does.
According to Pew Research, among both married and cohabiting adults, love and companionship top the list of reasons why they decided to get married or move in with their partner. Nine in ten married adults and 73% of cohabiting adults say love was a major factor in their decision.
Go for it and put yourself out there more.
“You are all worthy of love.”
Geiger, A., & Livingston, G. 8 Facts about love and marriage in America. Available at: Pew Research Centerhttp://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/02/13/8-facts-about-love-and-marria