Comparing Yourself to Others

“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant

While many know that comparing ourselves to others may bring jealousy and toxicity, we still do it. 
Sometimes intentionally and other times without even realizing it. 
This comparing behavior has become a natural part of our lives that there is no escape.
But think about it for a moment, if you compare other people’s strengths with your weaknesses, what would the outcome be? 

Would it be something pleasurable or enjoyable? 
While there is no denying that such comparisons can encourage you to do good or even become a better person, this is seldom the case.
Especially in this age of social media, it is almost impossible to use comparison for good. 
Lifestyle, physical appearance, or even the number of followers or likes they receive on their photos can often make people believe they are insufficient. 
Not learning self-control at this present moment will force you to spend redundant energy and wealth trying to match others throughout your life. 
We need to analyze both the origins and results of this behavior before reviewing useful methods to prevent such comparisons.

The Root Cause of Comparing

As it turns out, this constant need to keep comparing ourselves has a biological cause. Our brain uses this comparison process to determine how we measure against others. 
In other words, it enables us to understand what or who we are, our strengths, and our weaknesses.
Most people have an ongoing comparison system that operates silently in the background. 
The process of comparing ourselves to others leads to problems when we fixate on their accomplishments in work or physical looks and social achievements.

Humans have an innate need to belong and connect to others. 
However, this behavior of constant comparison severely impacts this natural need by making us believe that we are not enough to belong or connect. 
Ultimately, we risk our emotional health, confidence, and happiness.
So, what are the most harmful effects of this behavior? Take a look below.

How Comparison Harms You?

The thing with the comparison trap is it can impact people in many different ways. 
It is not a physical illness that will show the same set of symptoms or outcomes. 
But to give you an idea, here are some of the most common ways in which this behavior of comparing ourselves can impact us:

• Rumination – The same negative thoughts will keep running in your mind. Rumination is dangerous for our emotional health.
• Depression and Anxiety – Needless to say, something that impacts your brain and thought process in such a negative manner can definitely intensify anxiety and depression.
• Overspending – It has been observed that people start overspending once they are in this comparison trap to keep up with others.

Here is an experiment you can perform right now.

• Log into your social networking profile and spend some time reading the statuses of your friends and celebrities and viewing their latest uploads. 
• Now, log out from the account and focus on your thoughts momentarily.

You may not feel as good about yourself as you did before logging into your account. 
What happened? Even if you were not trying to intentionally compare your life, looks, etc., with that of others on the social platform, the comparison loop is very much active in the background.
Even studies have confirmed that spending time on social media often makes people feel bad about themselves. All of this negativity significantly impacts your mental state.
So, what is the way out?

3 Practical Solutions to Stop Comparing

How do you get out of this loop? Here are 3 ways that can help-

1. Accept What/Where You Are

The first step to initiate this change is to start accepting yourself. 
Start accepting where you are and what you are. 
Life is hard, and you’ve done an excellent job to be where you are today. Start accepting every aspect of your life and then focus on how you can make it better.

2. Practice Gratitude

Your sense of focus will move away from external stimuli when you demonstrate appreciation for what you possess. 
When you direct your thoughts to all the positive aspects around you, gratitude and positivity will follow.

3. Compete with Yourself

It is high time you stopped competing with others and tried to work on yourself. 
The focus should always be on being the best version of yourself. Think about how you can improve your health, career, or finances.

The Comparison Trap Needs to End Now

If such comparisons don’t inspire you, you are better off without them. 
While this sure is easier said than done, you have done more complex things in the past.
Ditching the habit will take some time and effort. 
But rest assured that there is a happier, more content, and more satisfying life at the end of the tunnel. 
Not for anybody else, but you need to do this for yourself. You deserve it.