Having children brings joy and new challenges. Your routines change. You may feel tired or short on time. You might talk less with each other. These shifts can make your marriage feel weak.
At Mental Health Counselor PLLC, Michael Arnold, LMHC, offers over 20 years of compassionate care. He directs and supports couples. He trained in Complicated Grief at Columbia University and holds advanced degrees from Marquette and Fordham. He stands with you through life’s most challenging moments.
Talk Every Day, Even for a Minute
It’s easy to stop talking when life is busy. But short chats keep you close. Ask about one good thing your partner saw today. Share a slight feeling: “I felt proud of you.” These talks build a connection.
- Tip: Set an alarm for two minutes each evening to chat.
- Tip: Send a quick text like “Thinking of you.”
Set Aside “Us Time”
Kids need care, but your marriage does too. Dedicate 30 minutes a week to each other. Ask a family member or babysitter to watch the children. Then:
- Take a walk side by side.
- Share a favorite snack and talk.
- Read a short story together.
This time shows your partner they matter.
Share Chores as a Team
Housework and child care can wear you out. When you divide tasks, no one feels alone. Make a simple list:
- One partner cooks while the other reads to the kids.
- One washes dishes; the other folds laundry.
Working together brings balance and mutual support.
Support Each Other’s Rest
When you are tired, small things seem big. Offer one another rest:
- Trade off nap times.
- Aim for the same bedtime.
- Have 15 minutes of quiet reading or listening to music.
With enough rest, you both speak kindly and feel calmer.
Keep Your Friendship Alive
Marriage is more than chores and parenting. Recall fun times before kids:
- Swap a weekly silly memory.
- Keep your old nicknames.
Friendship brings laughter and a strong bond.
Show Appreciation Daily
Kind words go a long way. Say “Thank you” for small acts:
- “Thank you for getting the baby’s bottle ready.”
- “Thank you for folding the towels.”
Noticing each other’s efforts builds respect and warmth.
Learn Each Other’s “Love Language”
People receive love in different ways. Some feel loved by words, some by touch, and some by acts of service. Find your partner’s style and give that style of love:
- If words matter, say “I admire you.”
- If acts matter, fill their mug with tea.
Speaking their love language brings a deeper connection.
Face Disagreements as Partners
All couples argue sometimes. What matters is how you talk:
- Stay calm: Take a breath if feelings run high.
- Listen fully: Let your partner finish before you speak.
- Use “I” statements: “I feel upset when…”
- Brainstorm solutions together: “What can we try next time?”
Solving issues as a team builds trust.
Parent as a United Front
Parenting is not a solo task. Talk about your goals for the kids. Divide routines like mealtime and bedtime.
- Plan a short family game each day.
- Praise your partner’s parenting strengths.
Shared parenting brings teamwork and guidance.
Grow Together
Becoming parents changes you both. Talk about dreams:
- Learn a simple hobby together, painting or cooking.
- Read a short, fun book side by side.
- Take a quick, online mini-course on communication skills.
Growing side by side keeps your marriage fresh.
When to Seek Relationship Therapy
Sometimes you may need extra professional support. Consider therapy if you notice:
- You argue more than twice a week.
- You feel alone or unheard.
- Significant life changes feel too hard to manage.
Relationship therapy provides expert guidance and evidence-based strategies to rebuild closeness.
Meet Michael Arnold, LMHC
Michael Arnold brings over 20 years of care and expertise. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor trained in Complicated Grief at Columbia University, with advanced degrees from Marquette and Fordham. He offers:
- A safe, nonjudgmental space to share thoughts and feelings
- Tools for clear, compassionate communication
- Conflict resolution skills that foster respect
- Strategies to restore joy and trust
Michael Arnold stands ready to provide you both with the guidance and support you deserve.
Our Couples Therapy Methods
At Mental Health Counselor PLLC, we adapt our therapy to suit your specific needs:
Behavioral Couple Therapy
- Transform unhelpful habits into positive routines.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
- Build emotional bonds by sharing feelings safely.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Couples
- Identify and reframe negative thought patterns.
Each approach delivers practical tools and professional assistance to strengthen your relationship.
How Therapy Works
- Initial Session: You discuss goals and concerns.
- Customized Plan: Michael outlines steps to meet your needs.
- Ongoing Sessions: You learn skills and practice them at home.
- Progress Check Ins: You review wins and adjust the plan.
Therapy is a partnership. Michael offers guidance; you and your partner bring commitment.
Online Therapy: Flexible and Effective
The demands of busy schedules and parenting can complicate trips to the clinic. Our online sessions offer the same professional support from your home. Just find a private spot with internet access.
Take the Next Step
- Discuss These Tips: Share the ideas above with your partner.
- Schedule a Consultation: Feel free to visit our website to schedule a call.
- Begin Your Sessions: Work with Michael Arnold, LMHC, to build the marriage you both desire.
You and your partner can maintain a strong, joyful bond after children arrive. With clear communication, shared effort, and professional guidance, your marriage can grow deeper every day.
FAQs
Q. What if we still argue about chores and parenting?
Sit down calmly. Take turns speaking. Use “I feel…” statements. Then think of one small change you both agree on.
Q. What can we do when we feel far apart?
Do a quick “friendship boost.” Share a funny memory or look at photos from before the kids. Laugh together.
